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In the plane, you must keep the other company. Otherwise (especially if you fly in Emirates!) a 20 hour journey is like kicking yourself in the balls! This is one of the methods of how you can be great company huahhauhuaha. Yes I was posing if you don't already notice. When you arrive, take your guest out immediately so that you will come back by night and sleep. THis is the BEST way to beat jet-lag! This is the same day after touching down, and of course you have to bring your guest to.... TAZA! Yes, recognized as the best kebab in Bayswater, it's a MUST go. The people are so friendly here that they like to touch touch see touch my guest also --> But yeah they're really nice people lol
Before leaving, always look for mirrors to camwhore in to prove that you've been here before. Next morning, must bring your guest to have a TRUE English breakfast. No, they are not equivalent to your french cafes and what nots. Must bring them to proper, proper ones! My guest here looks like she wants to eat more than what's on her plate. After breakfast, must bring your guest to visit... MUSEUMS! heck, even I haven't been inside, in my 4 years in UK lol.
One must surely take a picture inside the public phone booth, come on la, you can't say u've been to England if you haven't done this! Afterwards it's a trip to Selfridges. Here's my guest handling some wierd looking fruits. Selfridges is the second largest departmental store in London, after Harrods! You can get Absolut Disco there. Here's my guest advertising one.
After that it's a straight walk towards Park Lane, considered one of the most expensive streets in London. Don't believe me , look at your monopoly board! You'll find very nice gardens around here. You must then impress upon your guest that the grasses are real. "Try touching it" you say. Camwhore in the garden is a must.
If necessary, take advantage of the situation. Just make sure youo don't get a slap. Also, try your best to look like a cool korean dude who doesn't want to take pictures, giving the "come on, let's go" look. On the way down towards Mayfair, stop outside Nobu, one of the famed hangouts used by many celebrities. Known for its one michellin star standard, Nobu is great for its exquisite taste, and known also as a wallet burner. Once you check that your wallet is burn-proof, proceed inside. As a host, show that you have exquisite cuisine taste and order something crazy, like sea urchin nigiri as you can see here. Eat as though it's your staple diet. Careful not to screw your face up after tasting it, it's a dead giveaway.
Order a bento, it's the most $$$ saving assorted dish giving most value. At least it won't burn a hole in ur wallet. and you can share. Take a look at the assorted selection if you don't believe me. Okay, stop your wandering eyes going anywhere further up tankiu. After a great meal, proceed to.. HARRODS! Send your guest to Mr Big Bear here, and have them take a good nap after so much walking. Introduce them to silly toys and watch as they make silly faces to suit the toys.
You MUST, get me now, MUST always pose in front of Harrods. NOBODY will believe you were in London if you don't do so. You have been warned. Once again you and ur guest must show that you've been to harrods. Watch as behind me and my guest you can see a fading "Harrods" sign. Try not to catch any bloke walking past you. The end of day ONE. A preview of Day 2: We'll be taking the Tourist buses. Watch the same streets you walk everyday in differnt light!
One skill I must impress on you: do not look at the camera. i find that it makes you cool. Really. WHAT NOT TO DO: in our next episode, I will show you what not to do when you're exposed to the wind when on the top deck of the bus. Here's an example of WHAT NOT TO DO. What do I do with those who do not listen to me? I scold them. It's our right as hosts to discipline our guest. Watch out though. If you do it too much, you may expect ghosts to haunt you foreveer. like this.
Oh before I forget, end day one with this beautiful cake found near Harrods, called Patisserie Valerie. It's a renown patisserie so it's a must visit. I did not manage it because my wallet has been burnt up, so learn from my mistakes.   
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Description: If you want to know how to be a tour guide in UK, this is how you do it. This encompasses the first day and a little on the second. All are in London still.
Location: Atas places in London